Fatherly Advice

It’s all very well, you being kind and giving
but kindly give consideration to my plea
The world will not just hand a chap a living
so take it by the ‘scruff’ boy just like me

I recall upon my debut playing ‘rugger’
some fool accidentally kicked me on the shin
I swiftly turned and ‘upper cut’ the bugger
and that’s the last I ever saw of him

Then in the army, first day on parade
the Sarge barked ‘give me fifty’ ‘on the ground’
I didn’t like the tone of his tirade
and to this day, his body’s not been found

And then there was the time I met your mother
I knew at once that Cupid’s work was done
and overcame objections from her brother
‘You never met your uncle, did you son?’

Banking was my profession as you know
I moved quickly to the top from humble teller
I can’t of course relate how this was so
But don’t go digging underneath the cellar

I made a side bet, on the golf course with the Major
My game that day was just not ‘up to snuff’
The Major was sure I would lose the wager
but instead I lost the Major in the rough

I got a visit from an income tax inspector
He insisted I’d not told them all I earn
I objected to his high and mighty hector
So, neither he or I completed our ‘return’

Yes, take a tip from me boy, don’t be shy
For life rewards the fearless and the willing
The game of life is either do or die
so be a doer son, and make a killing!