My dear, I’m sure you will agree that our association
has been of some utility and mutual gratification.
But with customs being what they are, tradition is demanding
that there should be between ourselves a formal understanding.
Convention therefore would dictate, that you and I should set a date
and as it is your special day, I’ll acquiesce to what you say…
April? No, too many showers
May you say? Too many flowers
All that sneezing in the aisle among the family rank and file
June? Yes June could be okay, but hold on, my best man’s away
July? July is strictly out. Too many mosquitoes about
August? No it’s far too hot. I really think we’d better not
September we can not do. Your sister’s getting married too. And my first cousin’s tying the knot, No, it would seem like a job lot.
October is getting chilly
November would just be silly
A Christmas wedding? With that vicar? He’s sure to have been at the liquor,
better that we don’t tempt fate, but come up with another date
January’s sure to freeze
February would not please your mother, who I won’t upset,
she’s never liked me since we met
March, is just not the ‘done thing’ It’s neither winter, neither spring
and then its April once again, and still the same problems remain…
Alas, we’re at the mercy of cruel fate’s decree
which clearly indicates postponement of matrimony
and our engagement too I fear,
we must leave for another year.
We’ll just have to brave our chagrin,
and suffer twelve more months of sin